Let me take a moment to apologize before I even get started. I am about to uncage the, grrrr...Mama Bear in me. I gotta let it out every now and then... and perhaps it won't come off as sounding very Christian (at this point my head is thinking "whatEVER",lol).
I did not sleep well last night and I am now awake and quite agitated. I am frustrated, no, I am ANGRY, that so many people out there are still questioning, judging, "sharing their concern" about my family and how we care for our children. In previous posts I have mentioned how special our children are, in that they each have a challenge to face in this world. Their special-ness labels them with diagnoses that most people simply claim is "bad parenting". Oh, believe ME, I have thought the same thing myself for years before we knew what was really happening in our home. I beat myself up thinking I was the most horrible mom, not able to maintain any control, not able to teach obedience, getting mad at them for lots of things... I have been through it all.
So here is the scoop. Within the mix of our three children are the following MEDICAL challenges, yes, I stress MEDICAL, because as I said, there are so many who continue to attribute the behaviors of our children to our parenting style. Okay, (deep breath) here we go.... Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder-Inattentive, Asperger's Syndrome(a type of high functioning Autism), Anxiety, Tourette's Syndrome, possible seizure disorder, Pediatric Onset Bipolar, Attention Deficit Disorder-Inattentive, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder(strongly hyper).
At this point your head is probably spinning, as is my own. HOW can there be so many things... aren't you just labeling your kids, don't put them in a box, you just really need to be more structured, you probably ought to give them each a good, hard spanking, they are fine when we see them so your house must be out of control,I don't see any of that in your kids,you are too hard on them, you're just taking the easy way out and medicating them so you don't have to be a parent. Oh the list goes on and on about what people have said....and all of it hurts my heart.
Later I will help to make it ABUNDANTLY clear that this is not all some made up world we have created. I will explain how we (Don and I) have become researchers, pharmacists, statisticians, observers, therapists, experts, nurses, prayer warriors... This is not the easiest of tasks we have been given, yet having a better understanding of our children and how they are functioning in this world makes a world of difference. The harder part is understanding the looks and comments of well-meaning people who are certain that we are the ones causing the difficulties for our kids. Grrrrr gggrrrrrrrr, UGH! WhatEVER! (not my best, most Christian attitude, but sometimes I just have to make it through the day)
More later, if you can "bear" it, lol... sometimes ya gotta laugh, or you'll cry.
2 comments:
Hey Lori-
Parenting is one of the toughest (and most awesome) things there is. The problem is so many children are diagnosed with (especially) ADHD who really do have parents that do not understand that children are hyper by nature. They are not little grown-ups, they are kids! It took me working in a group home to understand that ADHD and other types of disorders are a brain/chemical disorder and need medication. Try not to be hard on the ignorant, that's their own problem. I understand it doesn't stop you from wanting to clobber someone that says something about your children. The fact is (and you know this) that you know the truth, your children are special and you will continue to do right by them, especially now that you have the knowledge. You know that while medication may be necessary their whole lifes that the time you spend with them, teaching them, mentoring them and loving them will make them strong individuals. Those kids are lucky to have you!
On a side note, I'm sure you have already researched this, but if not check out diet changes. Even with my typically hyper 4 year old we found switching to more natural foods has caused him to become more centered. Even switching to organic milk made a difference. It was amazing.
Good luck and if you ever need someone to vent to send me an e-mail or call. 904.460.2930. LaelCP@aol.com
Take some time for yourself. You are only one person
Take care
Katrina
Post a Comment